05

    Haven't tried this just but sharing because it looks yummy. Recipes that I haven't personally tried will look like this vs ones I have made will be a post I make via canva! Probably will start posting more baking recipes! Have been in a baking mood so maybe this will encourage me(:

-Salted Caramel Swirl Brownies-

⊹ ࣪ ˖ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮˖ ࣪⊹

Ingredients :

Brownie Batter

• 1 cup of unsalted butter -> melted 
• 2 cups granulated sugar 
• 4 large eggs 
• 2 tsp vanilla extract 
• 2/3 cup of unsweetened cocoa powder 
• 1 cup all purpose flour 
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1/2 tsp baking powder 

Salted Caramel Swirl:

• 1 cup store-bought salted caramel sauce (thick) 

Directions

• Preheat oven to 350°F & line a 9x9 pan with parchment paper

Making the brownie batter: 

• In a large bowl whisk the melted butter and sugar until fully combined 
• Add eggs and vanilla-> whisk vigorously for 1-2 until smooth & slightly thickened 
• Sift in the cocoa powder, flour, salt, and baking powder. Fold with a spatula until combined 

Assembly: 

• Spread about two-thirds of the brownie batter into the pan
• Dollop about 1/2 cup of the caramel sauce over the batter 
• Place in the remaining brownie batter in dollops over the caramel. Spread gently to mostly cover 
• Dollop the remaining 1/2 cup caramel sauce on the top. Take a skewer or knife and swirl through the pan

Bake: 

• Bake for 30-35 minutes 
• Let cook completely & enjoy:))! 

SOS

 Hey Angels! 

    I know this isn't typically something I post but if there was ever a time I need your guys help it would be now lol. 

    So for class we're doing a research paper on former students who were in ESL/ELL ( english as a secondary language / english language learners). What this is basically in short words is if you were ever pulled out of class or placed somewhere else to practice or learn English during your k-12 school years. Primarily my group is focusing on how the students felt during their time in this program so angels if you guys were in this sort of program or know of someone who has could you guys please share/ take the survey? It would be greatly appreciated! 

Link: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeEmD7oXFnRsF_Q0pgJDPAghFnJ6Go2yUZDd4lQSfqQRM-g6g/viewform 

With Love, 

Mayrin

Literally Wth

Dear Angels,

          So it totally feels like the universe is against me or maybe trying to tell me something. If you guys remember my last post and how the past Sunday was like this is basically an update from that? As I said I did stray away and try to recollect myself. I even went out to Universal Studios (Hollywood) and had a good time and everything. Halloween was a total bust though because I ended up super sick so my angel costume? Yeah it never made it out the house. That same day I did end my friendship with the guy "friend" (let's name him G)  who I had been with from last Sunday. I feel okay? It wasn't so bad but he had made it seem like I was the problem the entire night. So that was basically my final streak? And just said it would be best for us not to be friends wished him well and all. He never responded back so whatever. I went out to dinner tonight though with the friend from last week who's ex we ran into (we'll call her Amy). Things were well we just updated each other and asked how we were and then thats when she brought up G and how she was there when I unfriended him. He basically had said that I was talking shit and whatever about the two of them to my current bestfriend (who we'll call Rosie). Which was totally untrue?? Anyways so G had said that Rosie sought him out and was telling him everything about the past Sunday and how I was running my mouth and all. When Rosie told me the complete opposite so both me and Amy were now confused. Then Amy had said that G said Rosie knew I was too much and that she sometimes doesn't think she wants to be friends with me anymore. When I tell you guys that I lost my appetite right there in the moment but I defended her saying she wouldn't say that. So did Amy she defended that against G especially because we we're (Rosie and I)  just out at Universal together and have been out pretty often so it didn't make sense to us. Only for it had been true.. I texted Rosie what was being said you know trying to figure out what exactly what was being said because I was now confused my bestfriend saying that about me? No way! Well turns out it was true lol. She said that she made that comment last year and had been pushing it down but no longer feels that way. My heart I don't know felt like it genuinely broke? I mean she's not the first to say that sort of thing but having to hear it come from someone else? I don't know what to feel or say really she has apologized for not telling me and going to G about it. I'm unsure on how to even go about it just told her I need time for now so we'll see how things go moving forward.

                    I think without wanting to believe B.A. (boy A for those who don't know is my bestfriend since middle school and now the person I'm talking romantically with)  he had a reason to believe well tell me that I needed better friends. I guess I didn't want to believe him nor did I ever really asked why he would say that. His reasoning has always been that he "sees" how they are towards me. It's just crazy I guess I've basically lost three friends back to back (Rosie isn't one of the three I'm not sure where to go with that) and now with these last few days and those situations? Is the universe trying to get me to loose all my friends? Am I supposed to be learning something from this? Who knows.

                On the other hand the instagram account I created for this blog is now officially public! ^-^ And I have made my first post! The user is @n1ryam. So if you'll like to follow you're welcome too! It'll mostly be a photo dump page or maybe I'll talk about this blog on there. Haven't decided just yet what to do. So if you have any ideas let me know! 

              I don't think I have much to say anymore my emotions are definitely all over the place but I think I'll be okay. So with that goodnight angels! Stay safe and stay hydrated as always! 

- Mayrin

Low Tide

Dear Angels, 

             Mental health. I don't believe that's something we have actually talked about on this page but after this past weekend I think we may need too. I'm not exactly sure what happened that I basically exploded. By exploded I mean have a complete break down that I would just not stop crying. Saturday had been completely fine you know just my typically day of going to the store and do some grocery shopping then Sunday came around. What was supposed to be a fun day turned to a day where I felt humiliated, claustrophobic, and the same way I felt as a little girl just waiting for the worst to happen. I had plans with some friends to go out to the next city for a Día de los Muertos festival but the day had started with me stressing over my school work. My assignment is that I have to do a research paper based on child development but interviewing someone. Which I had almost practically finished until I got to the part where I needed to use the book assigned for some terms to be defined in order to connect it to the paper. UGH ONLY FOR THE BOOK TO BE REMOVED FROM MY FILES!!!  I emailed the professor and everyone I could think of that could help me only to be told that it seemed like I was opted out of the class?? Which hello I'm not?? So that stress started settling in. I had already texted my friends that I didn't want to go. But she showed up to my house. Saying she wanted me to also go because she was nervous about seeing her ex (he doesn't live too far from the event) and being seen with our guy friend and it seeming like something it wasn't. I know I shouldn't have gave in but I felt like I had no choice? 

                I was okay at least I assumed I was okay even when picking up our friend in order to head to the next city. I wasn't really talking but then again I don't really talk with this group of friends. Which is weird in a sense for me? I may be introverted but if you know me you know once I begin talking and I'm comfortable I do not shut up.  As we got there and were starting to walk around I was trying to put my phone into the front pocket of my skirt. But guess what? MY SKIRT WAS COMPLETELY RIPPED! And I'm not talking about a small rip I'm talking a huge rip starting from the left side of my zipper practically half way down my skirt! As soon as I realized I had let my friends know that I wanted to find a place for me to find some pants or shorts just anything you know? There was basically nothing. My shirt was somewhat long so it did cover it for the most part. I even had my sweater so I was using that as well to cover it. But I just felt so embarrassed the entire time walking around. It was heavily packed as well. Me and crowds? Yeah no we don't mix at all. I think thats when my anxiety started settling in but I kept trying to push those feelings away and be okay. I was supposed to be having fun wasn't I? As we kept walking around I started feeling slightly claustrophobic so I started walking off to find an emptier spot just anything so I can get some air. I was tired and anxious and nothing was helping. Then we ran into her ex.. 

                I don't mind when people hold my arm but when I'm already feeling super out of it and not fully there and they decide to start squeezing me to start hurrying up without letting me know what was actually happening? Yeah no I'm definitely going to feel some way and want you off of me. When we reached the end of the path we turned back to look through the other stands. Then the pulling happened. Again as I said I was trying to get out of the crowds, to find an easier way to navigate through the walkway so I had no idea we were crossing or that I was walking towards where her ex was at. That was until our guy friend had pulled my arm back so hard I felt like I was going to fall down. I don't like when people grab all of sudden well I don't like people touching me in general unless I gave or give the okay for it. So once we were away from the ex in a semi non crowded area all I heard was me getting yelled saying why would I go towards the ex why wasn't I paying attention. I don't know what it was but I started yelling back but my voice was cracking. No matter how hard I tried to defend myself I started feeling like I was helpless because said friend who's ex it was wasn't even saying anything just watching s the two of were going at it. Eventually after maybe another hour that's when we started to leave. Once in the car my hands were completely shaky and I just broke down. Everything just felt like it was spinning and nothing made sense. Dinner was quiet I was basically ignored by other said friend. Not that I cared in the moment I just acted like they weren't even there. Then finally home I completely broke down once again and I didn't stop. I haven't cried so hard in so long and then the worst happened I let every negative thought consume not that I wanted too but I felt the loneliest I ever had. that night. 

                 The last few days I've been trying to collect myself and not let those thoughts invade my mind. Maybe I haven't allowed myself the last few months to actually feel any negative emotion. I been sucking it up just being the bubbly happy going friend. Yet it doesn't feel like I can be that right now not for a while maybe..  I think being that friend and being the one to always be there for others has felt like I'm not allowed to be upset. But then again depression has always been part of me so has anxiety. I mean I got diagnosed at 12 with these things and I thought I had been getting better. The moments like Sunday though? The way I completely broke? I don't get it. How something could've made me feel the way I do. Going forward these next few days I decided I'll be stepping back from those two "friends".  I need to take care of me at least to the best of my abilities. I still don't feel all that great. My mental health may not be the greatest at the moment but I'm definitely going to try to stay out of that dark place. So angels please whenever you know in your gut and heart that you're not doing okay or know that you can't go somewhere for your own well being please listen to your body! As always despite my current mental state my DMs and google forms are always open! Stay safe and stay hydrated! 

- Mayrin              

Bits & Pieces

 Hey Angels! 

         I'm a bit brain fried and have no clue on what to actually write about. So I guess this will be another random yap session ! 

    ✨Recap on the last few days✨

                Totally feeling better after my migraine but I did wake up the next day with that post headache feeling?? Has anyone else ever woken up still feeling all achy after a migraine? It doesn't always happen to me. But safe to say that the medication they prescribed did work but I'm iffy on the side effects that I felt and may possibly feel the next time I may need to take one for my migraines... think the experiences I saw of others may have spooked me a tadddd bit😶. OH I did also get prescribed some vitamins to help prevent them a work in progress is what they are. So I'll keep you guys updated if those are actually working or not.

            School so far is going okay for the most part at least. I finished two finals which I semi feel good on. I say semi because my CDV one definitely took me a lot longer to finish than what I was expecting. I think I did good though? Got maybe three wrong just waiting for the written response to be graded. As for my English class thats what I'm iffy about I know what I'm doing in that class but it sometimes gets really confusing especially the group work because I have some members who don't talk so the group part of our assignments don't always get fully completed until like the day its due. So all I'm hoping is for that eventually that gets situated soon. 

            Some of you have left your instagrams in the google form I have set up so I think I'm finally going to use the instagram I created a while ago. I wasn't sure what I wanted to use it for per say. Originally I thought maybe a digital junk journal? Something separate from the other two I have my friends and family on. I don't really have any other ideas for it so I think that's what I'll do just bits and pieces of my day/ life? Because I do want this blog to be private from friends and family I think I'll keep my face off that page in the meantime! I'm still debating whether it'll be private or public account but here it is! So follow if you'd like too! I'll post their soon..maybe lol. 

            Lately I've been watching the secret circle on youtube. May have started solely for the purpose of Phoebe Tonkin. So far I'm on episode 15 & its been pretty interesting so far. Totally unfair that they killed off Nick so soon he had some potential for sure. AND UGH him and Melissa? Hated the start of them but they had grown on me. I've also been rewatching majority of kathniel (Kathryn Bernardo & Daniel Padilla) movies. It's definitely been different rewatching them now that they aren't together anymore but they sure did know how to make romance movies🫠.  I don't have much to say anymore at least I don't think? Soo guess that's all for now. Stay hydrated and stay safe angels! 

-Mayrin