More Than Just A Body

    Hey Angels ᥫ᭡️!, 

            With today's post we'll be getting personal. Before we get into it because I do want this space to be a place of safety and comfort I would like to say trigger warning if you're not comfortable with the topic of sex or SA please refrain from reading any forward!  I recently came across someone's blog expressing their values, views, and sense of feeling behind about not yet losing their virginity. Their post really hit home and I was able to resonate with them because it is exactly how I felt before losing mines. So I thought maybe I could share my thoughts on it/ story so please take anything I say with a grain of salt or as advice. I'm just here to share and give advice if needed! 

                While reading it made me realize that there's this pressure, a silent pressure when it comes to ones virginity especially in high school. It basically becomes a race to something we don't even know that we're in. This is a time at least to me where I notice everyone starts to lose their virginity that it becomes the talk of the school. Always hearing stories via friends or classmates, having people ask me why haven't I lost it, or even being questioned if I already had lost it because I didn't seem like a virgin whatever that means?? It felt like I needed to hurry up and get it over with when reading the post on the apart of feeling behind it hit close to home. I also have always felt behind but that's also may be because I was but also wasn't trying to necessarily lose it? To me sex at first well I don't know actually I never really ever thought about it growing up? I didn't have the talk with my parents I was just told to keep my legs closed and not end up pregnant because boys only wanted one thing and that I needed to be smarter. So I didn't have anything to actually put a thought to it? 

                Won't go into details but growing up I was SA by two people that are to considered to be "family" so because of this I felt as if this was the only way I would be "loved". So whenever I spoke to someone in romantic manner and sex was brought up I guessed I deemed it normal? But deep down I guess I knew it wasn't? I hated the nudity pictures I would get and hated it even more when they would ask because it wasn't even months in it was always right away like I'm talking a few days a week max in. But it was all I knew, that was it okay that this is what "love" was. There was once a time that I could've lost it during high school now I'm not exactly sure what may have been going on during their life but my boundaries were definitely crossed I expressed I didn't want too yet I know I shouldn't have but at the time because we were friends I allowed it? But when it was coming close to the time of us doing it I completely broke down and the look on their face it was like they no longer wanted me? We're no longer in contact we actually stopped talking right after well more so like they avoided me even if we were in the same classes... In that moment I decided I wouldn't try again that I didn't want anyone ever giving me that look ever again so like in the post I wrote " Sorry To All The Guys I Ghosted"  says once anyone ever brought the topic of sex up or even tried being touchy or anything really I ghosted them because I just couldn't handle that nor wanted to feel used ever again. 

                I didn't lose it in high school but just recently I lost it three months ago before my birthday and it was a good experience actually. I won't lie and say I didn't hesitate I did but they made me feel safe something I hadn't felt with anyone else. The moment just all of it was actually special you know? He made me feel loved and truly cared for. He didn't let me feel uncomfortable if I seemed like if even was he would stop and make sure I'm doing okay and wouldn't continue unless I was completely sure of it. It wasn't rushed which is what I liked because it didn't feel like it was going to be a done and over thing. Once it was over I still felt that love. The after care was something I guess is what I wasn't expecting because of previous experiences? Again like I said my ideology was that this was the only way I would be loved but he didn't let me believe that. To this day he makes sure that I know that I'm so much more than just my body. So when people say waiting for the right time and person is worth it trust and believe that it actually is!

            If you're reading this and you feel as if you're being pressured into "getting it over with" or that you're behind because you're choosing to wait please remember that your boundaries are to always be respected. You're in the right path regardless on what you choose to do with your body. And I whole heartedly hope you all meet someone who does make you feel safe, loved, and valued. If you guys would like to ever talk one on one for any advice or just overall talk I'm always here! We can always chat over comments, via social media, or the google form I have posted up which is anonymous if you aren't comfortable with sharing your names! Stay safe and hydrated angels!

                                             -Mayrin

Just A Random Yap

Hey Angels!,
By the time I post this I'll be home in bed and in comfy my pjs [🥰] or it'll be the next day ... buttt I'm currently waiting for my last class of the day to begin and to get out of this current class so I can head home. I dread having late classes especially when I literally have to race out of class and building in order to catch the last bus home🫠. Class is boring at the moment so in the mean time I'll just yap about anything that comes to mind!
For starters I've had a few of you have asked to be mutuals which I'm totally down! I do have my socials that I specifically made for this blog linked so if you guys want to shoot me a DM anytime, I'm always down to get to know you guys! I also went ahead and added a google form underneath that link. If you would like to chat over email or share your guys socials so we can be moots please feel free to send! I'll check as frequently as I possibly can and respond!
Today's been meh I haven't really done much but be at school. Showed up early so I can do a bit of studying and grab some dinner before my final class. Todays choice; Subway! What did I get? Not my usual actually while waiting in line I over heard someones order and it sounded yummy... SO it was 6 inch Italian Herbs & Cheese bread with turkey and salami toasted with some american cheese! Dressings; light mayo & honey mustard Veggies: {again guys I'm a picky eater so bare with me} lettuce, spinach, green peppers, cucumbers, red onion & avocado with salt and pepper to top it off! And of course some chips and a beverage. It was in fact super yummy but a little messy with the dressings think they might have added too much of it.

I did get some studying done OH I also ended up seeing an old coworker! It was nice catching up with her and we've agreed to become study buddies especially on my days where I'm stuck on campus until basically 10pm. So that definitely will be a nice change from my normal days but moving on it's now the 5th week of school.. honestly things have been hectic but manageable just a TON of papers to write that my brain feels so FRIED and midterms are nearing so I really got to get it together and OMGOSH I have to do some data collecting!! It's one of my favorite things to do but I'm not entirely sure on how I'm going to go about it this time there's so many options. Though one is a group assignments so we all have to agree on how we'll go about it so there was a bunch of ideas we bounced through but not one was landed on for us to go ahead and move forward so that's our current dilemma and on top of that we were missing some group members. So I'm not sure how that's going to go but my other classes I definitely do have some ideas on how I'll go about it. Life has been a bit questionable lately. Let's see uhm I lost two friendships this month. I'm not entirely sure how to feel about it? I was super close to them both which is what gets me down because at the end of it I never truly found out the cause to our friendship ending. But I've to terms with it though it bugs me that I'll never know why but what can I do right? That aside my friendships that I still do have are very much dear to me. More plans are being planned especially now that fall is now officially here! Pumpkin patch, haunted hayrides, apple picking, etcc I LOVEEE IT ALL but I'm especially hoping that I'm able to do some fall activities with boy A this year the way we did last year or do even more fall activities. I should probably get back to paying attention to class... That's all for now! Stay hydrated , stay safe and stay marvelous

-Mayrin

Magazine 01

Tonight's Movie... Drum Roll Please🥁

 

Hey Angels! 

                So I haven't watched a Rom Com in a fat minute which is crazy this is literally my favorite genre! There's not much going on this Sunday night just did some homework for class and had dinner so I became bored and decided I wanted to watch something but nothing I've already seen before don't know I've been in a watching slump so just been rewatching things I've seen already. I started browsing on Prime and came across Moonstruck it is in fact my first time watching this movie sooo let's get into it! :) Cher obviously caught my attention and why I originally chose it. I'm not sure what I was expecting from this but all the twists and turns it took captivated me. Like hello what do you mean the father was cheating?? Then Loretta sleeping with Ronny while being engaged to Johnny? 😭but Ronny YEAH that is one fine man🥴. The vibe of it all was great I loved the scene of Loretta getting ready for the opera her outfit? makeup? hair? CHEF KISS she just looked so amazing. OMGoshh the opera scene where Loretta and her father catch each other?? I was so hoping they would actually catch each other though I was expecting more of a dramatic scene. I also wasn't expecting it to end the way it did but Johnny longer wanting to get married to her so Ronny took over?? Stunned and her family just accepting???Not much else to say though but it was a good movie to end the night!

Rating: 3.5/5 

04

03

Sorry To All The Guys I Ghosted

Hey Angels ,

    This post is gonna be somewhat of a personal insight into my love life so bare with me it's gonna be a long post...(｡﹏｡")
     

My Take On These Trends

 

An Uninvited Guest

 

Hey angels!

Filing A Complaint Against My Hair

   My entire life I could've sworn my hair was just frizzy? Frizzy straight? It wasn't until my second year of college after I had stopped dying and cutting my hair after so long that I "discovered" I had wavy?? hair. I showered and I typically just blow dry it right after then just straighten it but I decided not to one day and BAM as my hair was drying I had some slight waves? Confused is what I was because I've never seen my hair do that. 

    So since then I've been on a wavy hair journey and trying to figure out what works and what doesn't? It's honestly such a BIGGG guessing game! The amount of videos I've watched and products I've tried and oh gosh DON'TT get me started on diffusing !! It's such an arm work out😩and I still don't know what I'm even doing! That there's some days where I just want to take that straightener and style my hair that way. I am currently looking for a new curl cream or honestly a whole new routine with products... not even that I have an actual routine at the moment. I currently use Garnier curl cream though yes it does work,, I've noticed it does weigh down my hair or my waves fall out the very next morning? Or that my roots go super flat?? I just recently bought the Not Your Mother's Leave In Conditioner and let me just say yeahhh was definitely the right move it has helped give me volume and more significant waves but I'm also noticing not all of my hair actually waves up?? Apparently like me my hair really has no clue on what it wants to do because what do you mean that some days it's wavy but then another it barely has any texture to it??  If any wavy or curly haired person out there has any advice or tips please let me know! 

Hair with just the curl cream & leave in!

   

-Mayrin

Some Books I've Read

And of course like every book from the poison apple series by Mimi McCoy😝